Judging Yourself with Positive Intelligence

Judging Yourself with Positive Intelligence is a new Playlist on YouTube. Join me on a transformative journey through the Positive Intelligence Program with my mentor, Brad Berger.

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Judging Yourself with Positive Intelligence

Welcome to the “Judging Yourself with Positive Intelligence” Playlist! Join me on a transformative journey through the Positive Intelligence Program with my mentor, Brad Berger. This playlist is designed to share insights and practical wisdom that will help you identify and overcome the internal saboteurs, particularly The Judge, that hinder your personal and professional growth.

What to Expect

In this series, I will:

  • Document My Journey: Experience my personal growth and learnings as I navigate the Positive Intelligence Program. Gain a deeper understanding of how to recognize and counteract self-sabotaging behaviors, especially self-judgment.

  • Share Key Insights: Discover actionable strategies and techniques to enhance your mental fitness and overall well-being. These insights are aimed at helping you reduce stress, improve effectiveness, and foster healthier relationships.

  • Practical Applications for Personal Finance: As a Professor of Personal Finance at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston, I will tailor the lessons from the Positive Intelligence Program to help my students recognize and mitigate the self-limiting beliefs that affect their financial decisions and overall success.

Purpose of the Playlist

The primary goal of this playlist is to provide you with the tools and knowledge to:

  • Identify Your Saboteurs: Learn to recognize the negative internal voices, such as The Judge, that undermine your confidence and potential.

  • Enhance Self-Awareness: Develop a deeper understanding of how your thoughts and beliefs impact your behavior and decisions.

  • Promote Positive Change: Implement the techniques and strategies shared in this series to cultivate a more positive mindset, leading to greater personal and professional fulfillment.

Join the Journey

Whether you’re a student, a professional, or someone looking to improve your mental fitness, this playlist is for you. Subscribe and follow along as we delve into the principles of Positive Intelligence and learn to transform our lives by overcoming the lies we tell ourselves.


Call to Action: Subscribe to the channel, leave comments, and share your own experiences with Positive Intelligence. Visit JudgingYourSelf.com for more resources and to join our community. Let’s embark on this journey of growth and transformation together!

Meet the Judge, Your Master Saboteur

The Judge is the universal Saboteur that afflicts everyone. It is the one that beats you up repeatedly over mistakes or shortcomings, warns you obsessively about future risks, wakes you up in the middle of the night worrying, gets you fixated on what is wrong with others or your life, etc.

Your Judge activates your other Saboteurs, causes much of your stress and unhappiness, reduces your effectiveness, and harms your relationships.

The Judge

We need to intercept our top Saboteurs the moment they try to hijack our thoughts, feelings, and actions. In preparation for this practice, we get to expose the lies, limiting beliefs and damage of our Saboteurs, so they can no longer fool us into thinking they are helpful to us or the people we love.

My results are below along with highlights for each of my top Saboteurs:

PIP-Results

 


Hyper-Achiever

My Score: 10

Dependent on constant performance and achievement for self-respect and self-validation. Highly focused on external success, leading to unsustainable workaholic tendencies and loss of touch with deeper emotional and relationship needs.

hyper_achiever.4a119b8f

Characteristics

  • Competitive, image and status conscious.

  • Good at covering up insecurities and showing positive image.

  • Adapt personality to fit what would be most impressive to the other. Goal oriented and workaholic streak.

  • More into perfecting public image than introspection.

  • Can be self promoting.

  • Can keep people at safe distance.

Thoughts

  • I must be best at what I do.

  • If I can’t be outstanding, I won’t bother.

  • Must be efficient and effective.

  • Emotions get in the way of performance.

  • Focus on thinking and action.

  • I can be anything I want to be.

  • You are worthy as long as you are successful and others think well of you.

Feelings

  • I don’t like dwelling in feelings for too long.

  • They distract from achieving my goals.

  • Sometimes I feel empty and depressed inside, but don’t linger there.

  • Important to me to feel successful. That’s what it is all about. I feel worthy mostly when I am successful.

  • Could have fear of intimacy and vulnerability. Closeness with others would allow them to see that I am not as perfect as the image I portray.

Justification Lies

  • Life is about achieving and producing results.

  • Portraying a good image helps me achieve results.

  • Feelings are just a distraction and don’t help anything.

Impact on Self and Others

  • Peace and happiness is fleeting and short-lived in brief celebrations of achievement.

  • Self-acceptance is continuously conditioned on the next success.

  • Lose touch with deeper feelings, deeper self, and ability to connect deeply with others.

  • Others might be pulled into the performance vortex of the Hyper-Achiever and become similarly lopsided in their focus on external achievement.

Original Survival Function

For the Hyper-Achiever, self-validation, self-acceptance and self-love are all conditional–conditioned on continual performance. This is often the result of either conditional or altogether absent validation from parental figures. Even with very loving and approving parents, it is easy for children to get the sense that they are loved in return for achieving, obeying the rules, having good manners, etc, rather than unconditionally.


Controller

My Score: 10

Anxiety-based need to take charge and control situations and people’s actions to one’s own will. High anxiety and impatience when that is not possible.

controller.cb6efff6

Characteristics

  • Strong energy and need to control and take charge.

  • Connect with others through competition, challenge, physicality, or conflict rather than softer emotions.

  • Willful, confrontational, straight talker.

  • Push people beyond comfort zone.

  • Comes alive when doing the impossible and beating the odds.

  • Stimulated by and connects through conflict.

  • Surprised that others get hurt.

  • Intimidate others.

  • In-your-face communication interpreted by others as anger or criticism.

Thoughts

  • You are either in control or out of control.

  • If I work hard enough I can and should control the situation so it goes my way.

  • Others want and need me to take control.

  • You are doing them a favor.

  • No one tells me what to do.

Feelings

  • High anxiety when things are not going my way.

  • Angry and intimidating when others don’t follow.

  • Impatient with other’s feelings and different styles

  • Does feel hurt and rejected, although rarely admit to it.

Justification Lies

  • Without the Controller, you can’t get much done.

  • You need to push people.

  • If I don’t control, I will be controlled, and I can’t live with that.

  • I am trying to get the job done for all our sakes.

Impact on Self and Others

  • The Controller does get temporary results but at the cost of others feeling controlled and resentful and not able to tap into their own greater reserves.

  • Controller also generates a great deal of anxiety as many things in work and life are ultimately not controllable.

Original Survival Function

Underneath the bravado of the Controller there is often a hidden fear of being controlled by others or life. Controller is sometimes associated with early life experiences where the child is forced to grow up fast, be on its own, and take charge of its chaotic or dangerous surroundings in order to survive physically and/or emotionally. It is also associated with being hurt, rejected, or betrayed and deciding to never be that vulnerable again.


Restless

My Score: 9.4

Restless, constantly in search of greater excitement in the next activity or constant busyness. Rarely at peace or content with the current activity.

restless.5a19b8bf

Characteristics

  • Easily distracted and can get too scattered.

  • Stays busy, juggling many different tasks and plans.

  • Seeks excitement and variety not comfort or safety.

  • Bounces (escapes) from unpleasant feelings very quickly.

  • Seeks constant new stimulation.

Thoughts

  • This isn’t fulfilling.

  • This next thing has got to be more exciting.

  • These negative feelings suck.

  • I must shift my attention to something exciting.

  • Why can’t anyone keep up with me?

Feelings

  • Impatience with what is happening now.

  • Wondering what is next.

  • Fear of missing out on other more worthwhile experiences.

  • Restless and wanting more and more options.

  • Worried that focus on any unpleasant feeling will grow and become overwhelming.

Justification Lies

  • Life is too short.

  • It must be lived fully.

  • I don’t want to miss out.

Impact on Self and Others

  • Underneath the surface of fun and excitement of the Restless is an anxiety based escape from being present to this moment’s full experience, which might include dealing with unpleasant things.

  • The Restless avoids a real and lasting focus on the issues and relationships that truly matter.

  • Others have a difficult time keeping up with the frenzy and chaos brought by the Restless and unable to build anything sustainable around it.

Original Survival Function

The Restless is a strategy to find constant new sources of excitement, pleasure, and self-nurturing. This could be associated with early life experiences with inadequate parental nurturing or painful circumstances. Restless indulgence not only provided substitute selfnurturing, but also an escape from having to deal with anxiety and pain.


Victim

My Score: 8.8

Emotional and temperamental as a way to gain attention and affection. An extreme focus on internal feelings, particularly painful ones. Martyr streak.

victim.201e8739

Characteristics

  • If criticized or misunderstood, tend to withdraw, pout, and sulk.

  • Fairly dramatic and temperamental.

  • When things get tough, want to crumble and give up.

  • Repressed rage results in depression, apathy, and constant fatigue.

  • Unconsciously attached to having difficulties.

  • Get attention by having emotional problems, or being temperamental and sullen.

Thoughts

  • No one understands me.

  • Poor me.

  • Terrible things always happen to me.

  • I might be uniquely disadvantaged or flawed.

  • I am what I feel.

  • I wish someone would rescue me from this dreary mess.

Feelings

  • Tend to brood over negative feelings for a long time.

  • Feel alone and lonely, even when I’m around people I am close to.

  • Feelings of melancholy and abandonment.

  • Envy and negative comparisons.

Justification Lies

  • Maybe this way I get some of the love and attention that I deserve.

  • Sadness is a noble and sophisticated thing that shows exceptional depth, insight, and sensitivity.

Impact on Self and Others

  • Vitality wasted through focus on internal processing and brooding.

  • Backfires by pushing people away.

  • Others feel frustrated, helpless, or guilty that they can’t put more than a temporary BandAid on the Victim’s pain.

Original Survival Function

The Victim is sometimes associated with a childhood experience of not feeling seen and accepted, coming to believe that something is especially wrong with you. Victim is a strategy to squeeze out some affection from those who would otherwise not be paying attention. The moods mimic a false sense of aliveness.


Pleaser

My Score: 8.8

Indirectly tries to gain acceptance and affection by helping, pleasing, rescuing, or flattering others. Loses sight of own needs and becomes resentful as a result.

pleaser.4023f80c

Characteristics

  • Has a strong need to be liked by people and attempts to earn it by helping, pleasing, rescuing, or flattering them.

  • Needs frequent reassurance by others about their acceptance and affection.

  • Can’t express own needs openly and directly. Does so indirectly by having people feel obligated to reciprocate care.

Thoughts

  • To be a good person I should put the needs of others ahead of my own.

  • It bothers me when people don’t notice or care about what I have done for them.

  • They can be selfish and ungrateful.

  • I give away too much and don’t think of myself enough.

  • I can make anyone like me.

  • If I don’t rescue people, who will?

Feelings

  • Expressing own needs directly feels selfish.

  • Worried that insisting on own needs may drive others away.

  • Resentful for being taken for granted, but have difficulty expressing it.

Justification Lies

  • I don’t do this for myself.

  • I help others selflessly and don’t expect anything in return.

  • The world would be a better place if everyone did the same.

Impact on Self and Others

  • Can jeopardize taking care of one’s own needs including emotionally, physically, or financially.

  • Can lead to resentment and burnout.

  • Others can develop dependence rather than learn to take care of themselves, and feel obligated, guilty, or manipulated.

Original Survival Function

The Pleaser tries to earn attention and acceptance through helping others. This is an indirect attempt to have one’s emotional needs met. It is fed by two original assumptions that are picked up in childhood: 1. I must put others’ needs ahead of my own. 2. I must give love and affection in order to get any back. I must earn it and am not simply worthy of it.


Hyper-Vigilant

My Score: 8.1

Continuous intense anxiety about all the dangers and what could go wrong. Vigilance that can never rest.

hyper_vigilant.f459e50b

Characteristics

  • Always anxious, with chronic doubts about self and others.

  • Extraordinary sensitivity to danger signals.

  • Constant expectation of mishap or danger.

  • Suspicious of what others are up to.

  • People mess up.

  • Might seek reassurance and guidance in procedures, rules, authorities, institutions.

Thoughts

  • When is the other shoe going to drop?

  • If I make a mistake, I fear everyone is going to jump down my throat.

  • I want to trust people, but I find myself suspicious of their motives.

  • I need to know what the rules are, although I might not always follow them.

Feelings

  • Skeptical, even cynical.

  • Often anxious and highly vigilant.

Justification Lies

  • Life is full of dangers.

  • If I don’t look out for them, who will?

Impact on Self and Others

  • This is a hard way to live.

  • The constant anxiety burns a great deal of vital energy that could otherwise be put to great use.

  • Loses credibility due to the “crying wolf” phenomenon.

  • Others begin to avoid the Hyper-Vigilant as the intensity of that energy drains them.

Original Survival Function

The Hyper-Vigilant often comes from early experiences where the source of safety and security (parental figure) was unpredictable and unreliable. It could also result when painful unexpected events proved life to be threatening or unreliable.


Stickler

My Score: 6.9

Perfectionism and a need for order and organization taken too far.

stickler.2a63ad2a

Characteristics

  • Punctual, methodical, perfectionist.

  • Can be irritable, tense, opinionated, sarcastic.

  • Highly critical of self and others.

  • Strong need for self-control and self-restraint.

  • Works overtime to make up for others’ sloppiness and laziness.

  • Is highly sensitive to criticism.

Thoughts

  • Right is right and wrong is wrong.

  • I know the right way.

  • If you can’t do it perfectly, don’t do it at all.

  • Others too often have lax standards.

  • I need to be more organized and methodical than others so things get done.

  • I hate mistakes.

Feelings

  • Constant frustration and disappointment with self and others for not living up to ideal standards.

  • Anxious that others will mess up the order and balance I have created.

  • Sarcastic or self-righteous overtones.

  • Suppressed anger and frustration.

Justification Lies

  • This is a personal obligation.

  • It is up to me to fix whatever mess I encounter.

  • Perfectionism is good, plus it makes me feel better about myself.

  • There is usually a clear right and clear wrong way to do things.

  • I know how things should be done and must do the right thing.

Impact on Self and Others

  • Causes rigidity and reduces flexibility in dealing with change and others’ different styles.

  • Is a source of ongoing anxiety and frustration.

  • Causes resentment, anxiety, self-doubt, and resignation in others, who feel continually criticized and resign themselves that no matter how hard they work they will never please the Stickler.

Original Survival Function

The Stickler offers a way of quieting the constant voice of self judgment and fear of others’ judgments through trying to be perfect. If you do what is right, you will be beyond interference and reproach by others. Perfection and order brings a sense of temporary relief. Might have generated a sense of order in the middle of a chaotic family dynamic, or earned acceptance and attention from emotionally distant or demanding parents by standing out as the unreproachable perfect kid.


Hyper-Rational

My Score: 6.9

Intense and exclusive focus on the rational processing of everything, including relationships. Can be perceived as cold, distant, and intellectually arrogant.

hyper_rational.43693a97

Characteristics

  • Intense and active mind, sometimes coming across as intellectually arrogant or secretive.

  • Private and don’t let many people into my deeper feelings.

  • Mostly show feelings through passion in ideas.

  • Prefer to just watch the craziness around me and analyze from a distance.

  • Can lose track of time due to my intense concentration.

  • High penchant for skepticism and debate.

Thoughts

  • The rational mind is where it is at.

  • Feelings are distracting and irrelevant.

  • Many people are so irrational and sloppy in their thinking.

  • Needs and emotions of others distract me from my projects.

  • I need to shut out intrusions.

  • What I value most is knowledge, understanding, and insight.

  • Self worth is attached to mastering knowledge and competence.

Feelings

  • Frustrated with others being emotional and not rational enough.

  • Anxious about preserving personal time, energy, and resources against intrusions.

  • Feeling different, alone, and not understood.

  • Often skeptical or cynical.

Justification Lies

The rational mind is the most important thing. It should be protected from the wasteful intrusion of people’s messy emotions and needs, so it can get its work done.

Impact on Self and Others

  • Limits the depth and flexibility of relationships in work and life by analyzing rather than experiencing feelings.

  • Intimidates less analytically intense people.

Original Survival Function

The Hyper-Rational is a good survival strategy in early childhood circumstances of emotional turmoil or chaotic surroundings. The escape into the neat and orderly rational mind generates a sense of security or a sense of intellectual superiority. It also gains us attention and praise by showing up as the smartest person in the room.


Avoider

My Score: 5

Focusing on the positive and pleasant in an extreme way. Avoiding difficult and unpleasant tasks and conflicts.

avoider.4280600f

Characteristics

  • Avoids conflict and says yes to things one wouldn’t want.

  • Downplays importance of real problems and tries to deflect others. Has difficulty saying no.

  • Resists others through passive-aggressive means rather than directly.

  • Loses self in comforting routines and habits; procrastinates on unpleasant tasks.

Thoughts

  • This is just too unpleasant. Maybe if I let it go it will take care of itself.

  • If I deal with this now, I will hurt her feelings. I’d rather not.

  • If I get into conflict with others, I might lose my connection with them.

  • I have found balance. I don’t want to mess with it. I’d rather give someone else their way than create a scene.

Feelings

  • Even keel.

  • Anxiety about what has been avoided or procrastinated.

  • Fear about hard-won peace of mind being interrupted.

  • Suppressed anger and resentment rather than expressed anger.

Justification Lies

  • You are a good person to spare others’ feelings.

  • No good comes out of conflict.

  • It is good to be flexible.

  • Someone needs to be the peacemaker.

Impact on Self and Others

  • Denying the conflicts and negativities that do exist prevents one from actually working with them and turning them into gifts.

  • Feeling numb to pain is different than knowing how to harvest the wisdom and power of pain.

  • What is avoided doesn’t go away and festers. Relationships are kept superficial through conflict avoidance.

  • Others’ trust level is reduced as they are not sure when negative information is being withheld.

Original Survival Function

Avoider could rise from both happy and difficult childhoods. In happy childhood, one might not have learned the resiliency of dealing with difficult emotions. In a childhood of high conflict and tension, the Avoider might come in to play peacemaker and learn to not add any negativity or tension of one’s own on top of the existing family tensions.


Jesus on Judging Others

Jesus emphasized the importance of humility, compassion, and self-awareness when it comes to judging others.

Here are some key passages that illustrate His teachings:

  1. Matthew 7:1-5 (NIV)

    “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

    • Key Takeaway: Jesus warns against hypocritical judgment. Before judging others, we must first examine and correct our own faults. This passage encourages self-awareness and humility.

  2. John 8:7 (NIV)

    “When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, ‘Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.'”

    • Key Takeaway: Jesus highlights the importance of self-reflection before condemning others. Recognizing our own imperfections can prevent harsh judgments of others.

  3. Luke 6:37 (NIV)

    “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”

    • Key Takeaway: Jesus advocates for a forgiving and non-judgmental attitude, promising that such behavior will be reciprocated.

Judging Oneself

While Jesus cautions against harsh judgment of others, He also speaks to the need for personal accountability and self-assessment:

  1. 1 Corinthians 11:28 (NIV)

    “Everyone ought to examine themselves before they eat of the bread and drink from the cup.”

    • Key Takeaway: Self-examination is crucial in maintaining a righteous and humble life. It helps individuals recognize their own flaws and work on improving themselves.

  2. Romans 12:3 (NIV)

    “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”

    • Key Takeaway: Paul encourages believers to have a balanced and humble view of themselves, avoiding arrogance and recognizing their dependence on God’s grace.

The Judge as a Saboteur

From the Positive Intelligence Program, “The Judge” is described as a negative internal voice that criticizes oneself and others, causing stress and reducing effectiveness. This aligns with the biblical concept of the “accuser,” a term often associated with Satan, who is described as one who constantly accuses and condemns:

  1. Revelation 12:10 (NIV)

    “For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.”

    • Key Takeaway: The accuser is a force that seeks to undermine and destroy by constant judgment and condemnation. Recognizing this can help individuals reject self-destructive and harmful thoughts.

Judging YourSelf with Positive Intelligence and Biblical Teachings

  1. Rejecting the Judge: Both the Bible and Positive Intelligence emphasize the importance of rejecting harsh, self-critical, and other-critical thoughts. This involves fostering a mindset of forgiveness, compassion, and humility.

  2. Self-Reflection with Compassion: Self-examination should be done with the aim of growth and improvement, not self-condemnation. Jesus’ teachings encourage individuals to be aware of their own faults but to address them with grace.

  3. Compassion Towards Others: Instead of judging others harshly, adopting an attitude of understanding and forgiveness aligns with Jesus’ teachings and helps in building healthier relationships.

Judging YourSelf with Positive Intelligence

Jesus’ teachings on judgment highlight the importance of humility, self-awareness, and compassion. Recognizing the negative impact of “The Judge” as described in the Positive Intelligence Program can help individuals align more closely with these biblical principles, leading to a more fulfilling and less stressful life. By embracing self-reflection, rejecting harsh judgments, and fostering forgiveness, individuals can cultivate a more positive and effective mindset.

DISC Personality Types vs. My Saboteurs

To compare the DISC personality types with the saboteurs from your Positive Intelligence report, we will identify parallels and contrasts between each DISC type and the corresponding saboteur traits. This will highlight how certain personality traits might align with specific negative tendencies or “saboteurs” that can hijack thoughts, feelings, and actions.

DISC Personality Types vs. Saboteurs

Dominance (D) vs. Controller and Hyper-Achiever

Dominance (D)

  • Key Characteristics:

    • Results-oriented

    • Direct and decisive

    • Confident and assertive

    • Competitive

Controller (Score: 10)

  • Characteristics:

    • Strong need to take charge

    • Willful, confrontational

    • Push people beyond comfort zone

    • Connect through conflict

  • Thoughts and Feelings:

    • High anxiety when not in control

    • Angry and impatient when others don’t follow

    • Belief that control is necessary for success

  • Impact:

    • Temporary results at the cost of others’ resentment

Hyper-Achiever (Score: 10)

  • Characteristics:

    • Dependent on performance for self-validation

    • Image and status conscious

    • Workaholic tendencies

  • Thoughts and Feelings:

    • Must be best at everything

    • Emotions are distractions from performance

  • Impact:

    • Short-lived peace and happiness

    • Loss of deeper connections and self-acceptance

Comparison:

  • Both Dominance (D) and the Controller share a focus on control and achieving results.

  • The Hyper-Achiever’s constant drive for success aligns with the Dominance trait of being results-oriented and competitive.

  • The main difference is that Dominance (D) can be positive and effective in leadership, while the Controller and Hyper-Achiever can lead to negative outcomes like anxiety, impatience, and superficial relationships.

Influence (I) vs. Restless and Pleaser

Influence (I)

  • Key Characteristics:

    • Social and outgoing

    • Enthusiastic and optimistic

    • Persuasive and inspiring

    • Likes to be around people

Restless (Score: 9.4)

  • Characteristics:

    • Constant search for excitement

    • Easily distracted

    • Seeks new stimulation

  • Thoughts and Feelings:

    • Impatience with current activities

    • Fear of missing out

  • Impact:

    • Avoids being present and dealing with important issues

    • Creates chaos and difficulty in sustaining relationships

Pleaser (Score: 8.8)

  • Characteristics:

    • Needs to be liked by helping others

    • Can’t express own needs directly

    • Seeks frequent reassurance

  • Thoughts and Feelings:

    • Feels selfish expressing own needs

    • Worries about driving others away

  • Impact:

    • Leads to resentment and burnout

    • Others may feel manipulated or obligated

Comparison:

  • Influence (I) types are social and thrive on interaction, similar to the Pleaser’s need to be liked and help others.

  • The Restless saboteur’s search for excitement parallels the Influence type’s enthusiasm and social nature, but taken to a detrimental extreme.

  • The Pleaser and Influence (I) both have strengths in relationships, but the Pleaser’s indirect approach and potential resentment contrast with the Influence type’s straightforward optimism and persuasion.

Steadiness (S) vs. Victim and Avoider

Steadiness (S)

  • Key Characteristics:

    • Calm and patient

    • Loyal and dependable

    • Good listener and team player

    • Prefers stable environments

Victim (Score: 8.8)

  • Characteristics:

    • Emotional and temperamental

    • Seeks attention through suffering

    • Feels misunderstood and broods over negative feelings

  • Thoughts and Feelings:

    • Feels uniquely disadvantaged

    • Long-term brooding and melancholy

  • Impact:

    • Pushes people away

    • Wastes vitality on internal processing

Avoider (Score: 5)

  • Characteristics:

    • Avoids conflict and unpleasant tasks

    • Seeks comfort and avoids discomfort

    • Says yes to avoid conflict

  • Thoughts and Feelings:

    • Anxiety about avoided issues

    • Fear of disrupting peace

  • Impact:

    • Denies conflicts, leading to superficial relationships

    • Suppressed resentment and anger

Comparison:

  • Steadiness (S) types’ calm and patient nature can contrast sharply with the Victim’s emotional turbulence and the Avoider’s conflict avoidance.

  • Both Steadiness (S) and the Avoider prefer stability and comfort, but the Avoider’s extreme avoidance leads to negative outcomes.

  • The Victim’s focus on internal feelings and seeking attention through suffering is the opposite of the Steadiness type’s dependable and team-oriented approach.

Conscientiousness (C) vs. Hyper-Rational and Stickler

Conscientiousness (C)

  • Key Characteristics:

    • Detail-oriented and analytical

    • High standards and accuracy

    • Organized and systematic

    • Prefers to work independently

Hyper-Rational (Score: 6.9)

  • Characteristics:

    • Focus on rational processing

    • Comes across as cold and distant

    • High skepticism and intellectual arrogance

  • Thoughts and Feelings:

    • Values rationality over emotions

    • Skeptical and often feels alone

  • Impact:

    • Limits depth of relationships

    • Intimidates others with analytical intensity

Stickler (Score: 6.9)

  • Characteristics:

    • Perfectionist and methodical

    • Critical of self and others

    • Strong need for order and control

  • Thoughts and Feelings:

    • High standards and dislike of mistakes

    • Frustration with imperfection

  • Impact:

    • Causes rigidity and anxiety

    • Criticism leads to resentment in others

Comparison:

  • Both Conscientiousness (C) and the Hyper-Rational saboteur share a focus on logic, analysis, and high standards.

  • The Stickler’s perfectionism and need for order align closely with the Conscientiousness type’s detail-oriented and systematic nature.

  • While Conscientiousness (C) can be highly productive and reliable, the Hyper-Rational and Stickler can push these traits to extremes, causing interpersonal issues and internal stress.

Conclusion

Understanding the DISC personality types and the saboteurs from your Positive Intelligence report can provide valuable insights into how certain strengths can become liabilities when taken to extremes. Recognizing these patterns can help in personal development and improving interactions with others by mitigating the impact of these saboteurs.

 

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